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Server IQ: DangerouslyLow
compute LEVEL 3.14159265359 (Powered by server naps)
The Hamster Strike (IQ: 31)
Our wheel operators demanded union wages and mandatory seed breaks. Negotiations are ongoing, but it doesn't look promising.
Negotiations In Progress
The Tripped Cord (IQ: 20)
The night janitor strikes again. Turns out the vacuum cleaner needed that outlet a lot more than our database did.
Vacuuming Still in Progress
The Coffee Incident (IQ: 1)
Someone tried to overclock the mainframe by pouring a double espresso directly into the motherboard. It's now very awake, but highly uncooperative.
Server's rebooting... Send coffee!
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